Probably the dreaming’s of a Canadian maple syrup farmer and avid bacon enthusiast.

Staring Woody Harrelson, acclaimed movie star and Reddit AMA poster. But wait, there’s more – now you can watch Woodys chiseled face in stunning blueray.

A typical Chess Board was designed to be used by only two people at a time, a forever aloner & his imaginary friend. But what happens when you have two imaginary friends, you buy this board and you can finally see.

Help your children understand their inner anatomy without having to visit jimmy savile. This hilarious book makes learning about poop even more interesting!

Sick of paying $10 for a pint of your favorite brew at the stadium? Damn right you are! Its situations like this that you have to take inspiration from the Colombian drug runners, you, sir are about to become a smuggler. You will have to give up your non existent abs that you gained from an advertisement while watching naked ladies on the internet and don the beer belly.

Us socially awkward folk needed something to entertain us when we shower – they delivered.

The Credit Card Tool Set is a tool of the trade for geeks & survivalists. It contains a razor sharp knife for fighting bears, tweezers for removing your teeth, a screw driver so you can open bank vaults, a bottle opener so you can open your bacon soda and a magnifying glass so you can find your penis.

We all have fond memories of drinking a slush puppy on a warm summers day, but when you tried to make your own it never quite worked out – your parents told you it was ok and congratulated you for trying, but secretly they had lost all of their love for you and replaced you with zoidberg. This revolutionary Slushee Machine will make it a doddle to have your favorite flavored ice drink.

Everybody loves nickelback, probably. So why not purchase this nickelback greatest hits cd for your musical friends.

If one of your friends is a bad luck brian and you broke their arm before Christmas there is no better way to spin it into a positive than buying them a casttoo xray cast. Or if you are in the mafia and just want to send somebody a message, this could be an excellent way of doing it! Send a copy of their x-ray to casttoo.com and they will use it to create this masterpiece.

As if puzzles weren’t difficult enough already, some jackass decided to get rid of all of the edge pieces & add 5 extras for good measure.

A true product of the gods. No mere mortal should have attempted to mix the two heavens of Bacon and Soda together without asking the King of Pigs (the police).

Engorge yourself on the typical diet of an American. Scientists followed thousands of Americans to discover their daily consumption of food, the results were unsurprising and they even created this gift basket.

This 20 pound onion gift basket with bring tears to the eyes of all your friends. That sure is Shallot of onions!

Are you ever conscious that you are drying your A-hole and gibly bits with the same part of the towel as you are your face?

Cleanse your wet, nude, horrific body using this Runny Nose Soap Dispenser.

Quench your thirst with Bacon Drink Tablets. These little oinkers will turn your boring old water into bacon flavored water – just like jesus did.

To put it chimp-ly, this monkey costume will give your baby the swing it needs in life. If you need help with babysitting simply don this costume and request the local zoo to take care of the little monkey.

YOU GO GIRL! YOU SPRINKLE THAT SALT LIKE YOU AIN’T NEVER SPRINKLED NO SALT BEFORE –  George Washington

Get into gear and roll out your new car pool set. It will drive your opponent into the walls and light up the eyes of all spectators.

Your friend will have the shits and giggles when he opens this troll gift. Convince your giftees family that their beloved son still has problems with his tinkle at night and watch the magic unfold.

If you are tired of squeezing lemons to get to their sweet nectar, you need the Fruit Juice Sprayer. It can be used on most juicy fruits. Also a perfect substitute for pepper spray, probably.

Everybody loves America, right? So show your stars and stripes by wearing this dazzling Morphsuit. Shipping to arabian countries now available!

Transitioning from the digital world to the real world is hard. People have to actually get to know you instead of just looking at your profile.

There is no better way to show your friend that you love them than buying them some Mens Grease Anal Lube. The perfect gift to give friends who have a somewhat unidentified sexual preference or your grandma. Watch the joyous expression on their face as they tear open this present in front of their entire family.

One of the world’s most useful foods. Put it on sandwiches, hot dogs, eggs, corndogs, pizza, grilled cheese, bacon, mac and cheese, burritos, or even ice cream. But it’s not just for eating. Use it to marinade chicken, loosen a tight jar, insulate your house, shave your legs, remove your wisdom teeth, train a dog, fix a DVD player, or even make an ex-lover jealous!

The kids at his school always called ‘Apron Wearing James’ a sissy. “Why do you always wear an apron, Apron Wearing James?”, “You know girls are supposed to wear aprons, right Apron Wearing James?” One day, Apron Wearing James decided that he had had enough.

Change is one of the hardest parts of life. From our job, to our friends, even the weather, everything changes.

My wife and I were having our 3 year anniversary last week. I made dinner, set the table, lit some regular white candles, even played some romantic music in the background. It was nearly perfect, but when my wife walked in, she had the angriest face on.

The one problem with cake is that it doesn’t taste like bacon. This is unfair for us bacontarions and should be fixed.

The twenty-first century is filled with a mixture of cultures. You can’t walk down the street without seeing a Brazilian bakery or some sort of Chinese restaurant.

Doesn’t every man wish that he had bacon flavored balls?

Everything you write should get across a point, no matter now sharp the topic. With these pens its easy to inject humor into your reports.

The Sega Dreamcast was released in 1998, it was undoubtedly the most ahead of its time games console ever made. It has a special place in the hearts of all gamers and is an excellent retro gaming console.

If you keep on finding bits of your fingers in your Donkey testicle soup, you probably should invest in the Knife Finger Protector.

Want to make that revolting wound look delicious? I thought so. Its a fact that nothing looks better than bacon. Warning: Local dogs & Bacon lovers may start trying to eat you, causing you to become more ill, but that’s a risk you have to take to join the bacon clan.

Being lazy just got easier with the TV Remote Bottle Opener. No longer does your wife or weakest offspring have to go to the kitchen for the bottle opener.

Now you can wash your hands, feet & wobbly bits with this fountain of glowing water. An LED light shines through the water giving the illusion that you are in Chernobyl.

Convince your friends that the cyber police have raided their room and taken the internets.

This shower curtain is the perfect present for Facebook Addicts. Ask your friends to watch you shower and make them laugh.

Ever wanted to drive the batmobile? Now you can make fellow drivers at night believe that the batmobile is in front of their car. Simply place these “masks” over your break lights and they will show the batman logo in its full glory.

If you spend too much time on the computer and not enough on exercise, you now have no excuse for being a chunky monkey.

Tired of looking for Mr Right, One night stands & being friend zoned? Blow him (up) and you’ll be satisfied forever.

Entertain yourself while taking a dump with your very own bathroom sink aquarium. This sink can hold dozens of live fish and it is simple to maintain.

These ninja star coat hooks will make your friends think that you are a master of ninjutsu. Impress them with stories of how you took on bruce lee, the rock and godzilla while on holiday at disney land.

Make sure that your dog is to embarrassed to go anywhere near your roast turkey this Christmas by dressing him in this dazzling costume.  Colby would have loved this.

With the way the economies going, soon it will be cheaper to use real $100 dollar bills as toilet paper than buying this roll.

If you want to give diabetes a helping hand, the Giant Gummy Bear is perfect for you. Its made of the same rawr ingredients as 1400 regular gummy bears. Its bear-ly bigger than a football, making it un-bear-able to eat in one serving without loosing your bear-ings.

Look at your food, now back at mine. Sadly your food isn’t like mine, but you can buy food to be like mine & be the man you always wanted to be. I’m in a spaceship.

Dip into your pockets and splash out $65,000 on a Dolphin Powerboat for a loved one this Christmas. It can submerge down to 6 feet and perform aerobatic stunts, but that’s just a drop in the ocean. So dive in and become a exclucive member of the Dolphin Powerboat owners club.